Just Talk

I spend a lot of time avoiding talking about my injury. It's always such an awkward subject because it's so rare and personal and confusing so I usually try to avoid it. Despite my efforts, it of course has to come up a decent amount. Especially when my mom's around...(I love you mom). But no matter how many times I've told the story of how it happened and what it means, etc., I don't think that really qualifies as talking about it. Once it's origin is clear, people tend to stop asking questions. I guess it sounds like (and in all honesty, is) a touchy subject so no one dares to probe further. But it's important for me to talk about it beyond the simple story. This blog was started to help all of you but in the process I found my own therapy. BPI is not an easy subject to talk about. I'm not sure it ever will be either, at least for me because it doesn't matter if I post an essay on here every week, writing isn't the same as looking someone in the eye and telling them how my injury has totally altered my life. So maybe I need to start talking about it. Last week, I did kind of talk about it. My sister has been struggling with a shoulder injury from water polo and after telling my mom all of the ways it has restricted her, she turned to me and said "I've gained a lot of respect for you, Lise." I guess after weeks of dealing with pain and limitation affecting her everyday life, she had related it to me. She understood it wasn't the exact same thing but that didn't matter. I'm not sure my mother or sister realized but the short and simple conversation it started meant a lot to me. We just started talking a lot about my injury and it's the most in-depth conversation I think I've ever had about it. I tried to explain to them a lot of aspects I don't think anyone understands about living with BPI and just seeing their listening faces was another form of therapy. The thing about having a birth injury is that when you're young, you're either too little to understand it and then later you're still too little to really talk about it and for people to really imagine that it's a major factor in your life. A lot of people expect that we are used to it and that's by no means an incorrect assumption but just because we're used to it, doesn't make it easy. There are many ways in which it only gets harder. The point is that BPI is not about who or what destroyed your shoulder and how it generally physically affects you. As I've said before, it's always about the little things that no one else even thinks about. I just think it's important not to focus on it's background and physical effect but the way in which you approach it so you can stop it from affecting your mental health as well. I promise there are people who want to listen to all that you have to say about it...beyond the "how it happened." I'm one of them. It doesn't have to be awkward, you simply have to talk. It's all about the details...don't forget about the details.

It's so late, I'm sorry this so jumbled...thank you for sticking with me.