When People Tell You "No"

BPI's have significant consequences that often stop us from being able to do things we want or even just things everyone can easily do. I've spent much of my life being told "no" or "stop" or "you can't do that." At times, I understand and I accept that it's something I simply cannot do because of the way I was born. On occasion, but less often as I've gotten older, I realize it's something I can't do, but I still can't help but resent how different my life has been because of my BPI and I get pretty upset. But even more often, when people tell me I can't do something, I deny it. I keep trying and tell myself I don't have to let my complicated birth stop me from leading a normal life of doing normal things.

An example of this most frequent reaction occurred just a few weeks ago. I do a lot of yoga (it's good for my shoulder!) and one day I was at a yoga class with an instructor I've never had before. She could see that I had a shoulder injury, and during a pose that was visibly difficult for me because of it, she came over and told me to just stop, that it was too much for my shoulder and I should just do something else. This really upset me. She had no idea what was wrong with my arm, yet she talked to me like she was the only one who knew what was best for it. I have been to dozens of yoga classes and had plenty of difficulty because of my shoulder, and I've learned to adjust myself when I need to. All my life, people have talked to me like they know what's best for my shoulder and I've never understood why no one gave me the responsibility myself to figure out what's right for me. If I'm the one with the hurt shoulder, shouldn't I be the one to decide when it's too much in yoga? So, I sat there for a little bit and then I realized this. She had no idea what I could and couldn't do. I would not sit there and just accept that I needed to stop when I myself knew that I was doing just fine. Sure, it was a little hard on my shoulder, but that's why I go to yoga. To work the shoulder that I rarely use otherwise. She didn't know this. I did, and therefore, it was my decision. So I got up and continued the practice. And I felt great afterwards.

Now, I realize that this can be a dangerous approach in certain situations. If you're hurting your arm and trying to do something that's just not possible right now, you should stop. But often I think we need to just listen to our own bodies and make our own decisions. We are the ones who will always live with our BPI's. I don't always deny people's help or suggestions or deny that I can't do something. Because I know that there will always be things I will have to sit out and people who will be able to help me make that decision. But as we grow up, it's important that we make some of these decisions ourselves because we understand our own bodies more than anyone else will ever be able to. It's okay to get upset sometimes when you can't do something. We all have and we all will. Because it's hard. It's hard to watch everyone else succeed at a task you can barely try. But because of my BPI, I am unique and I am strong, and I refuse to ever forget that.