Surgery

BPI's can often be improved with different surgeries, and for that, we are lucky. I've had one surgery on my shoulder. I was in kindergarten when I had a tendon transfer to improve my range of motion and just overall function of my left arm. That surgery is one of my very first memories. Now, this story isn't meant to scare you. I want to show how it can be very frightening if everyone doesn't approach it in the right way, but ultimately it is a very simple situation with no reason to be afraid. The memory is pretty foggy but there are parts that I remember clear as day.

I remember sitting in the waiting room with my mom and one of the nurses and the nurse kept talking to me like I was a baby who had no idea what was going on. She would lie and embellish what they were going to do to my arm and I knew she wasn't telling the truth, and that's what ultimately scared me. Until then, I was fine. And just as the panic was setting in, she crouched down and murmured in a baby voice, "I'm gonna take your mom to get changed really quick okay we'll be right back." That's when I lost it. I wouldn't let them take my mom away from me for one second. Finally my mom escaped and quickly returned in a nurse gown and cap and everything. I remember not being able to let go of her after that.

 Finally, another nurse came out and she had this little dollhouse with a doll that acted as the patient and she showed me what was going to happen to me on the doll. That's when I calmed down. Now that I knew what was happening and that no one was deceiving me, I was fine once more. It relaxed me immensely. Well, for a little at least.

When it finally came time, they brought me into the operating room and put me on this metal table where they had to put the anesthesia mask on me so I would fall asleep. Once again, I freaked out. It took multiple nurses to hold down my writhing enough so I could take a breath from the mask. The next thing I remember is waking up with a giant cast on my arm that was held up by a wooden pole attached to another cast around my waist in order to keep my arm up. It was over, and I was okay again.

I was 5 years old and for that reason, yes, it was a little scary. What kept me sane, though, was having my mom with me and knowing she wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. Even more, the nurse who was honest with me halted my nerves because I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of once I knew exactly what was going to happen and that everyone was on the same page. After the surgery, my mom made sure that I felt incredibly proud of myself for getting through it. We made the wooden pole into a giraffe's neck and that always gave me something to smile at. When I returned to school, my whole class had written me cards and gave me a giant stuffed bunny. I felt really special knowing that I had been so strong by getting through my surgery and that I had such an amazing support system.

The surgery improved the limitations of my shoulder, especially with physical therapy. My arm is still very limited and my mom and I have been looking into further ones that might help but so far, we haven't found anything we're confident in. If you aren't ready or prepared or comfortable with anything regarding the surgery, figure that out first. No matter how old you are, surgery can be terrifying and the only way to avoid that is by first making sure you are fully prepared for the journey ahead.