Friends

I've never really had a friend with a BPI or anything like that and sometimes that can be hard. Most people, especially kids, don't understand what it really is and even if they do, no one except the people with brachial plexus injuries really get what our lives are like. Most people I know don't even know about my BPI and the ones that do often forget. I've explained it to my closest friends but it still doesn't really make sense to them and I get that. It must be difficult to imagine what it's like to live without two arms that have nearly equal ability because they've never known anything different. But I do.

Sometimes it's really hard to live knowing how different I am and how much harder so much is for me just because my doctor messed up when I was born. It's hard to look at my parents and my friends and my teachers and my cousins and wonder what that feels like to freely lift both their arms over their heads, to easily reach for something with both their hands, to stretch their arms behind them. And no one really gets it. No one gets how much it hurts sometimes to know my life isn't normal and never will be and to know that I'll never know what all that normal-ness really feels like.

It's not easy to talk about this with people like my friends and family who don't feel the same way. But what I do know is that they will listen if I need them to and even if they don't really get it, they understand how much it might hurt just based on the fact that they can't even imagine it. I think knowing someone and having someone to talk to who mostly understands the feelings that this life provokes can be really helpful. I wish I had established that relationship with someone with a brachial plexus injury also when I was growing up and I encourage anyone to do so.

I'm not very good at sharing my feelings so my friends have no idea that it can be hard for me. Sometimes they laugh when I do something differently or my friend will accidentally hurt my arm by grabbing it in the wrong way. I always laugh it off and try not to let it bother me but there are definitely days where it does. That's when a friend who understands what I'm going through could be really essential. Even if you don't have someone like that, I hope you all have family or other friends that you can turn to. Don't let the fact that you're different scare you into turning into yourself about this and not turning to someone else. Let somebody listen to you. I guarantee that someone will and sometimes that's all anyone needs, someone to listen. And I hope that anyone reading this knows that I am here to be that listener too.