Comparing & Understanding

When people try to compare my brachial plexus injury to the temporary injuries of other people:

"Lise she's just like you!"

"Lise look you have a twin!"

"My friend hurt his elbow last night and now he's like you!"

Well, not exactly. A broken wrist or sore shoulder doesn't really measure up to a torn nerve that has left my arm this way for my entire life.

I'm sorry that you can't turn your hand over this week or that it hurts to put your arm above your head today but comparing that to my permanent inability is honestly an insult. I appreciate the attempt at understanding but comparing the troubles of two different people has always been my least favorite form of coping and especially in this case.

I get that for most everyone, it is impossible to wrap your head around the thought of never having full ability in one arm and so I've never held one of these comments against someone. But sometimes I do wish people would just understand that they can't understand and so it is not their place to make a comparison or a joke in this way.

Mostly I wish that all of you with brachial plexus injuries understand that these comments come from the attempt to understand and so they should never offend you. No matter how much it feels like you are the only one who understands what it's like, you aren't. I do! We all do! Still sympathize with those that you know don't and when you need it, turn to us for empathy.