Massage

I haven't done physical therapy in a long time but my mom always makes sure I'm paying attention to my shoulder and doing something to keep it stretched and strong. Like I've said, yoga is one thing I do a lot to help open up my shoulder and build its strength. There are also certain stretches I try to do often that help. It's important to be aware of what I'm doing with my shoulder because brachial plexus injuries often cause pain or problems when you're older and that is one thing I'm sure I don't want. As unmotivated as I am most of the time to do anything for my shoulder, I know I have to. I've become accustomed to my shoulder how it is but if ignoring it means issues when I'm older, I'm willing to give it a little extra attention every now and then to avoid that.

The main action I take for my shoulder is massage. It's not just any ordinary sort of massage and it's not for everyone but I just want to share my experience with it. A while back my mom found a lady who did shiatsu massage and I did that for a while. I don't know a lot about it but I knew that I felt great afterwards and she was very confident in the progress I was making. She ended up moving away and my mom couldn't find anyone else similar so we kind of forgot about it for a while.

Eventually, a long-time friend of my family's who is a masseuse offered to help me. He did a lot of research on brachial plexus injuries and he knows an extensive amount about the body so even before my first massage, he knew what he was looking for and what he was going to try and do to improve my shoulder's comfort. Once again, I found that the massages felt great and my shoulder seemed looser after. He's been giving me massages for a few years now and he's done a lot for my shoulder. He's also given me stretches to do and suggestions for activities that could further improve my shoulder's condition.

Overall, massage has made my shoulder feel better and has also made me more conscious of how I am treating it. I'm confident that my shoulder would be in a much worse state without it and I would be much less aware of how it is doing. He always explains to me what he's doing and what's going on with my shoulder. It's given me a greater understanding of my arm's abilities, limitations, and improvements. Even if it's not massage, I believe it's really important that people are very conscious of their brachial plexus injuries so that they can prevent future (as well as current) discomfort.

The Little Things

Every day you wake up and get dressed and shower and eat breakfast and brush your teeth and do your hair and gather your stuff for school. But maybe your mom helps you get your shirt over your head or one side of your hair doesn't get shampooed very well because it's hard to reach and then your ponytail ends up on the side of your head for the same reason. Or maybe you add in some stretches for your shoulder every morning or you carry your backpack on one shoulder because it makes your other one sore. Or you have to ask your dad to reach the cereal because you already have the milk in your right hand and your left arm can't quite make it. Or maybe you do all of these things and more I haven't stated or maybe you do none of them or maybe your morning is completely different because you've changed it around to work for your brachial plexus injury. No matter what, I'm sure that every day you wake up and can't escape the changes you have to make with the little things.

Growing up, my mom would have to do my hair and dress me every day. I couldn't get my left arm up enough to do either. Showering was a pretty much one-handed struggle. I had to and still have to constantly ask for help with one little thing after another. It's hard. Asking for help can be really hard. Everyone is raised to be an independent person and when you have to constantly ask people around you to do a simple little thing that everyone else can do, it's a bit of a defeated feeling. Guaranteed, when you're little, you need help from teachers or parents or whoever a lot of the time anyways. They're always right by you and helping you before you even ask, no matter if you have a brachial plexus injury or not. But as you get older, asking for help seems more and more childish and less and less normal.

Through physical therapy and my surgery, my arm became stronger and more useful as I grew up and as it did, I learned altered ways to do my little things. They weren't always normal but I tried to figure out ways to do them on my own because that helped me feel better about myself. My ponytails were often slightly on the side of my head and I had to tilt my head to shampoo in the shower and I would need to put the milk down so I could reach the cereal with my good arm. I had to put bras and shirts on a little differently and I usually carry a purse on my right shoulder to keep from straining my left. But I could do it. Most little things I could compensate and figure it out. Of course I need help many days or people look at me funny when I do things differently but that's okay with me.

Now, I understand that your morning probably looks a lot different than mine and everyone's brachial plexus injury allows that they can and can't do different things. But I think as you get older you'll see that there is often a way that will work for you to braid your own hair or put on your favorite sweatshirt by yourself. And I'm always open to any questions about how I do that or how I think you could. But even if you can't do a lot of things by yourself, it's okay. Asking for help is not weak or embarrassing, it's brave. I know it's hard but I can say that most people are happy to help. Most people will think nothing different of you, so you should think nothing different of yourself. We're raised to be independent but there are rarely big things in life that we accomplish alone. Famously successful people did not get there by themselves. So if you start asking for help with the little things now, you just might be even more successful when you get to the big ones.

Sports

Sports are amazing for so many reasons. You get great exercise, meet new people, find strengths you never knew you had, feel like a part of something, take a break from the day, feel accomplished, and with a brachial plexus injury, find something you can do just as well or better than everyone else for once. I've slowed down with sports recently, quitting softball and only playing soccer on the high school team, but that doesn't mean they weren't invaluable to me growing up or even still now. At an age where time and energy are endless, sports are the perfect activities to start young. And with my BPI, they made sure I felt normal sometimes.

I played basketball from third through fifth grade, softball second through ninth, and soccer ever since I was four. Of course I tried other sports here and there but partially due to my BPI, these are the ones that stuck. That might sound weird considering basketball and softball are both pretty much sports you play all with your arms, but I figured out my own ways and made it work with those two because I liked them. I didn't quit either for any reason related to my BPI. I wasn't very fond of the uniforms in basketball and it seemed more of my brother's sport than mine so I let him have that spotlight. I lost interest in softball mostly because of the environment it creates because of the people involved including coaches, parents (if you ever really want to get to know someone, go to his/her daughter's softball game...that's when the truly crazy side comes out), and players. It's kinda sad cause I did enjoy it but I don't miss it much.

Soccer has always been my sport I think. I've played it the longest and enjoyed it the most. It is convenient that since I'm not a goalie, my BPI doesn't affect my performance at all besides throw-ins (which I do a pretty good job at avoiding) but I like to think it's mainly a coincidence that soccer's what I've ended up with. I never chose or stuck with it for that reason, I just love soccer because it's soccer. And I think that's how it should be. Through soccer, I've met great people, made great memories, and felt great about myself. And I think those are all insanely important things to have in your life.

Don't choose a sport because it's easiest for you or you're best at it or your parents want you to do it or it's what your friends play or anything like that. Don't let your BPI choose your life. So what if you love volleyball but you're not very good at it because of your brachial plexus injury? You can have even more fun than the varsity girls by playing at a rec level and I guarantee you'll meet super fun people. There are always ways to compensate or change things around so you can be happy doing what you love even if you're not ending up in the Olympics. Granted, I've never been a very competitive person but honestly I see no reason for you to waste these amazing years of your life being unhappy because you think you're being forced into only running track when in less than twenty years you're gonna have a job that leaves you only running every now and then for fun anyways. You have to start the fun now whether that means starting varsity football all day every day or rec soccer once a week! Choose what's best for you and makes you happiest, not the sport that everyone else is telling you will be the only one that works. I think, with an open mind, everyone should at least try sports because they can only bring you amazing opportunities and amazing people.

Friends

I've never really had a friend with a BPI or anything like that and sometimes that can be hard. Most people, especially kids, don't understand what it really is and even if they do, no one except the people with brachial plexus injuries really get what our lives are like. Most people I know don't even know about my BPI and the ones that do often forget. I've explained it to my closest friends but it still doesn't really make sense to them and I get that. It must be difficult to imagine what it's like to live without two arms that have nearly equal ability because they've never known anything different. But I do.

Sometimes it's really hard to live knowing how different I am and how much harder so much is for me just because my doctor messed up when I was born. It's hard to look at my parents and my friends and my teachers and my cousins and wonder what that feels like to freely lift both their arms over their heads, to easily reach for something with both their hands, to stretch their arms behind them. And no one really gets it. No one gets how much it hurts sometimes to know my life isn't normal and never will be and to know that I'll never know what all that normal-ness really feels like.

It's not easy to talk about this with people like my friends and family who don't feel the same way. But what I do know is that they will listen if I need them to and even if they don't really get it, they understand how much it might hurt just based on the fact that they can't even imagine it. I think knowing someone and having someone to talk to who mostly understands the feelings that this life provokes can be really helpful. I wish I had established that relationship with someone with a brachial plexus injury also when I was growing up and I encourage anyone to do so.

I'm not very good at sharing my feelings so my friends have no idea that it can be hard for me. Sometimes they laugh when I do something differently or my friend will accidentally hurt my arm by grabbing it in the wrong way. I always laugh it off and try not to let it bother me but there are definitely days where it does. That's when a friend who understands what I'm going through could be really essential. Even if you don't have someone like that, I hope you all have family or other friends that you can turn to. Don't let the fact that you're different scare you into turning into yourself about this and not turning to someone else. Let somebody listen to you. I guarantee that someone will and sometimes that's all anyone needs, someone to listen. And I hope that anyone reading this knows that I am here to be that listener too.