The Little Things

Every day you wake up and get dressed and shower and eat breakfast and brush your teeth and do your hair and gather your stuff for school. But maybe your mom helps you get your shirt over your head or one side of your hair doesn't get shampooed very well because it's hard to reach and then your ponytail ends up on the side of your head for the same reason. Or maybe you add in some stretches for your shoulder every morning or you carry your backpack on one shoulder because it makes your other one sore. Or you have to ask your dad to reach the cereal because you already have the milk in your right hand and your left arm can't quite make it. Or maybe you do all of these things and more I haven't stated or maybe you do none of them or maybe your morning is completely different because you've changed it around to work for your brachial plexus injury. No matter what, I'm sure that every day you wake up and can't escape the changes you have to make with the little things.

Growing up, my mom would have to do my hair and dress me every day. I couldn't get my left arm up enough to do either. Showering was a pretty much one-handed struggle. I had to and still have to constantly ask for help with one little thing after another. It's hard. Asking for help can be really hard. Everyone is raised to be an independent person and when you have to constantly ask people around you to do a simple little thing that everyone else can do, it's a bit of a defeated feeling. Guaranteed, when you're little, you need help from teachers or parents or whoever a lot of the time anyways. They're always right by you and helping you before you even ask, no matter if you have a brachial plexus injury or not. But as you get older, asking for help seems more and more childish and less and less normal.

Through physical therapy and my surgery, my arm became stronger and more useful as I grew up and as it did, I learned altered ways to do my little things. They weren't always normal but I tried to figure out ways to do them on my own because that helped me feel better about myself. My ponytails were often slightly on the side of my head and I had to tilt my head to shampoo in the shower and I would need to put the milk down so I could reach the cereal with my good arm. I had to put bras and shirts on a little differently and I usually carry a purse on my right shoulder to keep from straining my left. But I could do it. Most little things I could compensate and figure it out. Of course I need help many days or people look at me funny when I do things differently but that's okay with me.

Now, I understand that your morning probably looks a lot different than mine and everyone's brachial plexus injury allows that they can and can't do different things. But I think as you get older you'll see that there is often a way that will work for you to braid your own hair or put on your favorite sweatshirt by yourself. And I'm always open to any questions about how I do that or how I think you could. But even if you can't do a lot of things by yourself, it's okay. Asking for help is not weak or embarrassing, it's brave. I know it's hard but I can say that most people are happy to help. Most people will think nothing different of you, so you should think nothing different of yourself. We're raised to be independent but there are rarely big things in life that we accomplish alone. Famously successful people did not get there by themselves. So if you start asking for help with the little things now, you just might be even more successful when you get to the big ones.