Acupuncture: Part 2

If you ever go to acupuncture, make a mental note of how you feel before. It's difficult to assess improvement when you don't remember the "before" picture. Despite my not realizing this, I still felt that my shoulder was looser after the first session. After the second session I did too. The second one was nice because after the first one loosened up certain areas of my shoulder, I really noticed the most restricted parts and was able to have the woman focus there this time. I don't think my everyday function has really been improved but my shoulder almost feels more normal. I just feel like I can shake it around a little more now. If I go back, I'll be interested to see if getting the needles more in my arm and hand will allow other improvements. I'm not sure what I was really expecting from acupuncture but I was pleasantly surprised because of that. But I'm sure it's different for everyone. I also had it on my hamstring and I don't think it really helped there so that's just a reminder that it's not gonna help everything. I'd love to hear any other acupuncture stories out there! Send me a message :)

Comparing & Understanding

When people try to compare my brachial plexus injury to the temporary injuries of other people:

"Lise she's just like you!"

"Lise look you have a twin!"

"My friend hurt his elbow last night and now he's like you!"

Well, not exactly. A broken wrist or sore shoulder doesn't really measure up to a torn nerve that has left my arm this way for my entire life.

I'm sorry that you can't turn your hand over this week or that it hurts to put your arm above your head today but comparing that to my permanent inability is honestly an insult. I appreciate the attempt at understanding but comparing the troubles of two different people has always been my least favorite form of coping and especially in this case.

I get that for most everyone, it is impossible to wrap your head around the thought of never having full ability in one arm and so I've never held one of these comments against someone. But sometimes I do wish people would just understand that they can't understand and so it is not their place to make a comparison or a joke in this way.

Mostly I wish that all of you with brachial plexus injuries understand that these comments come from the attempt to understand and so they should never offend you. No matter how much it feels like you are the only one who understands what it's like, you aren't. I do! We all do! Still sympathize with those that you know don't and when you need it, turn to us for empathy. 

Acupuncture

Oddly enough, the needles weren't the worst part. I've never been one of those people who gets nauseous at the sight of a needle or anything near that so that part I got over (not to mention they're so small I don't even know if they qualify as needles). I felt a little prick on only a couple and even the electric current she hooked up to some of them felt strange but nothing ever hurt. 

What got me was the staying still. I've always been the person who cannot stay in one position for a long time. I'm that kid in class who's always shifting in her seat and I wake up with my covers off the bed because I move around so much. So when there was a bunch of needles in me and the lady left the room to leave them in for "a few minutes," I struggled. One obviously cannot shift position when there are needles everywhere. And it didn't help that her idea of "a few minutes" was many more than the general idea of "a few." But somehow I ignored the itch on my shoulder and my nagging urge just to move a little and I got through it.

Now for anyone considering acupuncture, do it. There's really nothing to be afraid of. Everyone will think you're super cool when they find out you spent your afternoon with needles all over you and it just might help loosen up your muscles. It's hard to tell after one session, but I do think it helped my shoulder and I think a couple more will only make it even better. You have nothing to lose!

A New Team

Oh the joy of a new group of people bound to ask why I avoid taking throw ins, can't do push ups, and don't swing my arm when I run. High school soccer season is here and since 11 of our team graduated last year, this year's team is very new and young. Meaning they don't know me. Or my injury.

"Why are you only lifting one weight? Why do you run like that? Why aren't you planking with us?" 

The inevitable questions that I have answered innumerable times. Yet somehow, they still come. And I still answer. And people still laugh or don't respond or come up with 47 more questions. Sometimes I think I've been well trained for when I'm a mother in several years and my kids go through their curious stages. I've spent a large portion of my life answering the same questions over and over and I just have to make sure it increases rather than decreases my patience. 

MOVING

Today, well technically yesterday I guess (oops), my family moved out of the only house I've ever lived in. My body is sore from carrying boxes and my mind is beyond confused by seeing all our stuff set up somewhere that isn't home. I can't really believe that I won't pull into that driveway again or step foot in our beloved treehouse. I grew up there and for my last six months or so at home before heading off to college, I have to grow up within a different set of walls.

It's funny that we can get so attached to what's really just a bunch of walls. But truly, that's not all it is. It's the memories within them and the neighbors beyond them. It's the comfort and the routine and the common ground (literally and figuratively) it provides with so many people. I don't know how to live at a different address. But I know I'll learn. We fear change but it's also what we thrive on. Whether it's a new job, school, friend, routine, law, car, or place, it's what allows us to grow. I may have spent seventeen years growing up in one house but I'm going to spend the next six months discovering these new walls that will help me be someone I never could have been had we stayed. That's what change does for us.