Understanding

We are difficult people to understand. It's rarely simple for any particular person to understand even the medical implications of BPI, so to understand the implications that ripple beyond our mere body structure and physical ability is nearly impossible. But that's okay. Because understanding people in general is not easy. I'm not sure if I've said this before but understanding another person completely isn't probable. I can know your favorite food and your saddest moment and your worst enemy and your happiestmemory and your greatest dreams and desires but that doesn't mean I understand you. No one's brain works the same and no one can hear another's thoughts and no one can truly understand another person. At least that's what I believe. I don't mean that we can't connect with people on levels we didn't even think possible. We can love people more than anything. We can often know a person better than him or herself but I still don't believe it qualifies as understanding that person. Because as hard as we try, we can never walk a day in someone else's shoes, let alone think a day in his brain or relive a moment from her past or feel this person's dreams. Humans are personal and complicated beings and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

I spent much of my 4 weeks in Mexico thinking about this. I was surrounded by indigenous families who had memories and dreams and clothes and homes and traditions and beliefs and daily lives much much different than mine or those of nearly anyone I'd ever met. They spoke a different language and grew up in a situation far from similar to anything I'd ever seen but I still tried my best to understand them. And through all that trying, I realized that it was only an extreme version of what we try at every day. We are always trying to understand each other. Reaching for an infinity that is of course impossible to achieve. It doesn't matter that the differences between me and a 5-year-old girl in this community were far greater than the differences between me and the girl who sits next to me in math. All that matters is that every moment spent with these girls is spent in an attempt to understand them better. And though I never fully will, I don't regret trying. We should never regret trying. Because how could we survive without people reaching out to us. How could we ever get anything done if we didn't try to get to know the person sitting across from us. I, and many others with brachial plexus injuries, spend a lot of my time trying to help people understand me. Isn't that the point of this entire blog? To help us understand ourselves and to help others understand us? And maybe you and they will never reach complete understanding but maybe that's a good thing. Because we are personal and complicated beings and I wouldn't have it any other way. Privacy is a kind of therapy we all need.